Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

Three Wishes

If I had three wishes…

How to Have Free Fetish Phone Calls Online

Fetish phone calls are a safe, anonymous way for individuals to explore their fantasies and desires. But how do you have a successful fetish phone call?

Erotic Pop Art

From D-Rex vs Triceracocks to Mr. Bearbottom, Christopher Adam Gray shares his whimsical exploration of sex positive concepts and figurative art with Perks Magazine.

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.

I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?’

My sex life

Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.

On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory

Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.

Why I chose not to have children

Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.

The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup

Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

Why is it only legitimate when we take away the sex?

Sex can be functional and legitimate or it can be sexy and pleasurable, but never both…

Erotic Pop Art

From D-Rex vs Triceracocks to Mr. Bearbottom, Christopher Adam Gray shares his whimsical exploration of sex positive concepts and figurative art with Perks Magazine.

Baby Voodoo: When kink meets art meets fashion

Melbourne-based artist and designer Baby Voodoo shares her love of all things naughty and nice with Perks Magazine.

‘…to the exclusion of all others’

What monogamy really asks of our long-term partners and ourselves.

Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?

Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?

Strike Up A Chat

Rhonda chats to Natalie Swedosh about her Strike Up A Chat social interaction initiative that helps women and men reconnect in person.

Mass shootings: disaffected young men or entitled objectification?

A response to Jim Dowd’s ‘The Shootings Are Not Senseless’.

Why I’m not buying ‘Instagram star’ Essena O’Neill’s rage quit from social media

Essena O’Neill may be weeping her carefully crafted ‘this is REAL’ and ‘I’m doing it for my 12-year-old-self’ story all over her website, but she is also asking you and me to send her money now that she has to make a living like the rest of us.

69 ways to balance cats on your breasts

Carl Skase offers you the listicle to end all listicles: 69 ways to balance cats on your breasts. Or, a tribute to what the internet does best!

‘Bunnies Unbound’ — unravelling preconceptions about rope

Through Bunnies Unbound, Kat Johnston hopes to break through some of the preconceptions people have about rope-based bondage, the people who practice it, and kink more broadly.

Unravelling jealousy

Rhonda reveals her struggle with jealousy and what it means to hold on by letting go.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?

Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’

I am not okay

Who helps the helpers? Rhonda reflects on what it means to not be okay when you are the one who is supposed to keep it together.

The ‘Perfect’ Relationship

Rhonda reflects on what makes the ‘perfect’ relationship.

Abuse is a choice

Rhonda Perky shares her reflections on ending up in an abusive relationship and how she eventually walked away, and the questions this raises for our society.

Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

Objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they can evoke a more direct physical response. But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?

Feel the fear

From the blog: Rhonda Perky learns a tough lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

When a crab crawls out of its basket

Rhonda recalls her journey out of the crab basket and beyond the mould in which she was once cast.

How to Have Free Fetish Phone Calls Online

Fetish phone calls are a safe, anonymous way for individuals to explore their fantasies and desires. But how do you have a successful fetish phone call?

A Beginner’s Guide to Dating a Transgendered Person

What you need to know about dating a transgendered person.

One plus one equals three?

Lady Chatterley shares her non-monogamous memoir.

Perky Commandments

Rhonda’s commandments for love, lust and life.

The space equation

Negotiating time with — and without — your partner.

Couple swapping: negotiating boundaries

Group sex might resemble porn, but if you’re not careful, a fantasy can turn into a nightmare.

Dating: if I had my time over

Rhonda Perky reflects on her insecurity, fear, dating stereotypes, and how she wishes she had done dating differently.

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part One

Clarissa-Jan Lim explores the history of feminism and its views on BDSM.

What’s with all those dick pics?

From the sender’s perspective: Rhonda asks guys to share what’s with all those dick pics?

Porn rots your brain

…and other sex negative ‘phallacies’. Just how bad is porn, anyway?

I caught my boyfriend cheating

Rhonda helps a woman process the aftermath of a betrayal.

I want to open my relationship—is this a cause for disaster?

Rhonda answers your question: I want to open my relationship — is this a cause for disaster?

Condoms kill my erection

Rhonda helps a recently divorced man learn to use condoms without losing his erection.

I’m into BDSM but my wife of 40 years is totally vanilla

Rhonda helps a kinky reader grapple with his vanilla relationship.

How can I get past my performance anxiety?

Rhonda answers your question on how to overcome performance anxiety during sex.

Turns out my guy has a girlfriend. He won’t tell her about me. Should I?

Rhonda Perky answers your question: The guy I’m seeing has a girlfriend and won’t tell her about me. Should I?

My boyfriend likes ‘shemales’ – what do I do?

Rhonda offers advice to a woman whose partner is into ‘shemale’ porn

Can a long distance D/s relationship work?

Rhonda answers your question, can a long distance D/s relationship work, and isn’t it all just sexting anyway?

I am a virgin, how can I satisfy my experienced man?

Rhonda gets a little ranty answering your question: How do you satisfy your man’s needs if he is ‘experienced’ and you are a virgin?

My partner has been with someone else, now I want my turn

‘How do I tell him I want to be with someone else?’